Microweddings: ten reasons why you should consider making your big day not so big

Ideas So some of you will be in no doubt that you want a big, bells-and-whistles, bouquet-tossin’, crowd-dancin’ beast of a wedding day. And if that’s you, then go you.

But some of us will be wanting something smaller. Some of you may be considering eloping but can’t quite imagine the day without a certain very select group of people. If you’re on this fence between wedding and eloping, keep reading, as a microwedding might just be the answer to all your wedding confusion.

1. Because you don’t owe anyone anything.
Some of the reason you might be finding the decision so hard in the first place is because we are so used to seeing huge weddings in the media. And we are so used to feeling like it would be rude not to invite everyone we’ve ever exchanged a few words with.

Wrong! So wrong. It’s your wedding, and you get to do what you like.

2. Because there are fewer details to stress over.
There have been large weddings done simply, and endlessly complex small weddings, but as a rule, more guests to please equals more faff, stress and effort. Hundreds of invitations? Nope. Logistics of catering for a ballroom full of people? Nope. Having to go for quantity over quality with your wedding cake? Nope!

A small, select bunch of guests means you can actually please yourselves much more comfortably than you every could if you were inviting everyone you know.

3. Because money.
Even if you have generous relatives or are well off, you’ll have other goals in your life that you’re saving for. Maybe a house deposit, maybe children, maybe a mini submarine (it’s your dime). Yes, it’s an important day and it’s worth doing it your way and sourcing things that make you happy. And yes, some of those things will cost a fair old bit whether it’s just you two or a thousand others.

But you’re essentially looking after and entertaining all of your guests all day, so a £50 per head menu x 10 is far less eye-watering than x200. With the average wedding in the UK now costing £24,000, microweddings mean you can have your wedding cake and eat it.

4. Because all of the feels.
We’re not saying Karen from HR in your office wouldn’t pee on you if you were on fire, but we’ll bet she didn’t hold you while you snotted and blubbed your way through your first breakup either, like your best friend did. There’s no denying that, out of your potential guest list, some guests are more equal than others.

How can you be sure? Because we’ve all been guests at a wedding where we weren’t super emotionally involved with the couple. We cared, yes, but how could everyone there care as much as those people's close family and friends? Now, imagine having a microwedding and saying your vows in a room where everyone was choked up, where every single person was incredibly touched by you taking this big step. That’s pretty magical.

5. Because human interaction.
Microweddings are awesome for introverts and highly sensitive people because they’re not too overwhelming. There’s not five things going on at once, and there’s not five different people talking to you at once. What’s more, you’ll actually have time for genuine interaction with people (who all care about you, see above!) on a one-to-one basis without rushing.

And if you need to take ten minutes outside, no one comes to drag you back in ‘because Uptown Funk’s on!’. They get you, and they know you just need a little quiet time before getting back to the festivities. Oh, and there’s not hundreds of eyes on you every second of the day. Heaven for some, but hellish for plenty of us!

6. Because no pressure to dance.
There is no minimum number of people required to throw some shapes, but if you want to take the pressure off yourselves to have a big, flashy disco experience, have a microwedding.

You can just have dinner and play some background music, job done. Or you could play some cool board games, have some live entertainment and/or just all go home after dinner and end your first married day feeling awesome and on a high, rather than off your face and exhausted.

7. Because you can draw the line.
Guest lists are hard. Wherever you draw the line between invited and uninvited, you’ll possibly offend someone. But those who have family-only microweddings at least get to dodge the ‘you invited this friend but not that friend’ minefield.

It’ll still be a challenge to decide where to stop – what if one of you is very close to your cousin while the other one is pretty indifferent? – but having a small shortlist to start with will help, and you can use the ‘small wedding’ excuse when explaining to any non-invitees.

8. Because no hierarchy.
Who gets to sit at the top table? Who gets a boutonniere? Who gets to give a speech? Who gets to get ready with the bride(s)/groom(s)? At a microwedding, potentially everybody!

There is nothing wrong with asking your nearest and dearest to be part of your wedding party, but with a microwedding, everyone is a VIP. Which in return means that everyone will (hopefully) be super supportive.

So, is a microwedding up your street? How are you making sure your day is the best day for you and your partner?

Tags: planning, microwedding, ideas, inspiration, advice

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