Worst lies we tell ourselves while wedding planning

Fun Hands up, we're guilty of all of these! How about you?

We’ll come in under budget.
It has been done. Somewhere someone’s managed it, but much in the same way someone has sailed around the world, or eaten a whole tyre, y’know? Seriously, though, ask any bride or groom and 99% will tell you that the cost of their wedding, no matter how they chose to celebrate, was bigger than their initial budget.

You’ll save yourselves a lot of stress if you can factor in some spare cash somehow. If you really can’t do that, try to look at how you could slightly shift your plans to cut the overall cost, for example by slightly shrinking that guest list (if invites haven’t already gone out!) or by thinking up clever ways to squish the cost-per-person such as having a buffet or forgoing the jugglers and fire-breathers.

We can DIY everything for our wedding.
A word of advice on wedding DIY: pick your projects carefully. Be selective. Choose the things that you find most enjoyable/therapeutic or that you think will make the biggest difference and will be most appreciated by your guests.

For instance, if you hand-decorate little pots and fill them with plants you grew to be given as favours, your guests are more likely to notice than if you hand-sew bunting that’ll be hung way above everyone’s heads. And remember that handmade isn’t the only road to a beautifully unique wedding day – you can buy customised, handmade things that’ll make your wedding completely yours.

And what’s more, you’ll get to stay non-frazzled and actually enjoy the crafts that you decide to keep as your projects.

We won’t care what people think.
Ah, yes. This is one we actively try to reduce in you by sharing advice and reality checks. But the struggle is real, and it’s responsible for thousands of meaningless wedding planning decisions each year, because couples feel that they ‘must’ have certain things or it’s ‘just not a wedding’.

Be self-aware when planning, and watch for these thoughts. It’s your day, and those that matter don’t mind if you don’t have a receiving line or photobooth. This is different from breaking from your picnic-blankets-only rule to accommodate your 90-year-old great aunt with a comfortable chair. That’s not caring about what someone else thinks – that’s about caring for your guests’ wellbeing.

OUR guests will RSVP.
Unless you’re eloping, be prepared to chase at least one person for that response to your invite. This issue is bizarrely universal, no matter how organised your guests usually are in everyday life. The good news is that most people respond to a quick chase-up once the deadline has passed. Leave it a week and then give them a polite call to get their answer.

Settling on the final guestlist won’t take long.
This task is always, always harder than you think! The main culprit? The desire to achieve some kind of symmetry, so you have roughly equal guest numbers, seems kind of fair. And then it turns out you have wildly different family sizes and structures, and it suddenly seems to come down to arguing over each individual guest. And, sometimes, that’s what it takes!

It won’t rain.
If you live in the temperate zone of the globe, you need to come to terms with the very real chance of the skies not cooperating with your wedding weather wishes. In fact, don’t come to terms – embrace it with some cute umbrellas.

I won’t be nervous.
Those who have tied the knot already often say they ended up feeling different to how they thought they would on the big day. So you can bet that whatever your predictions for your emotions on the morning, you don’t know exactly what’s coming.

So with that in mind, pack some soothing activities in case you get anxious even if you’re usually chilled, and use waterproof makeup and pack a handkerchief even if you’re not a big cryer.

Our wedding will go completely to plan.
Actually, the best thing about it is that it won’t. Something will go a bit wrong, or just won’t quite have the impact or effect that you may have intended. And, with any luck, actually, the blooper, whatever it is, will actually be funny and probably more memorable than the bits that went right.

Yes, a wedding is an often big and complex event that warrants a lot of planning, but draw the line at thorough planning before your reach control freak – and embrace the little surprises the day throws at you.

Tags: planning, organisation, relationships, guests

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